Life Unexpected
by carebearsmiles
Summary: As always, the first chapter of my new story, which will be updated upon request. Unlike every other modern Cinderella stories, this one happened in real life. No one ever thought it was a big deal, but it was to her. She kept quiet and kept her mask on for so long it feels real. Is there ever a good time to show the world who you really are? Clace, Sizzy, some Malec.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

 **As always, the first chapter of my new story, which will be updated upon request. Unlike every other modern Cinderella stories, this one happened in real life. No one ever thought it was a big deal, but it was to her. She kept quiet and kept her mask on for so long it feels real. Is there ever a good time to show the world who you really are? Clace, Sizzy, some Malec, you know the drill.**

 **This story is Rated T until further notice, I might change it, I might not, depends on what I feel like writing.**

 **If you haven't yet, I have other stories that have been updated recently and could some love from my readers. Enjoy reading, even though the weather is kind of getting nice out – maybe I jinxed it, that is Nebraska for you.**

 **Characters belong to Cassie Clare.**

 **Clary POV**

"I love that," I commented honestly. "Writing a new song can be so draining and stressful by yourself. Thank you for taking the time to help me."

"Anytime Clary," Simon said back.

Whenever I get major writers block or need some company from someone my own age, I always call my best friend. He's the only one that knows the real me and loves me anyways. Although he never wanted me to perform under an alias, and we fought for a couple weeks on it, he still stuck around. It means the world to me.

We heard a knock on my dressing room door and I panicked. We always lock the door when I don't have my wig on for precaution. It came in handy this time as I struggled to find my hair on the floor. Simon waited for the long Blonde hair to completely cover my own before unlocking and answering the door.

"Can I help you," he said plainly. He doesn't wear a wig or anything but no one's ever been interested in him before. He keeps out of the cameras and his name out of the paparazzi, so we don't make him cover up.

"The backstage passes have been checked and approved," my stage manager replied. Simon opened the door further so I could be seen.

"Allow me a moment to take this robe off and find my shoes," I said professionally. He spoke into the radio set attacked to him and waited in the doorway.

I unwrapped my robe and hung it on it's sparkly silver hook. I checked the mirror and saw a chunk of red hair through my wig. I adjusted it accordingly and used a bobby pin to keep it hidden. Then my least favorite part, I slid my feet into 6-inch heels that matched my first outfit for tonight's concert. All sparkles and glitter everywhere.

I put on a fresh layer of mascara and bright red lipstick. I wish I could wear this lipstick without being _Riza Fairchild,_ it would match my red hair so perfectly. Unfortunately, this is my signature color, wearing it outside of matching it with this wig could give me away, it's too dangerous.

"Ready," I said turning away from the mirror and to the door. Simon nodded and a security guard came with the first group.

Group after group was the exact same.

I introduce myself as Riza Fairchild, shake their hands, take some selfies, offer them goodie bags for coming to see me, and forget their names as they leave when time is up.

Simon looks just as bored as always, sitting in the back corner on a chair in case I need help with anything. I notice his eyes are no longer glued on his phone but on the door in front of us. His expression changes in the matter of seconds. His eyes bug out and I swore I saw drool, then he looked desperate, followed by shock, fear, and then he looks at me.

He's standing next to me in a second taking a selfie of us on his phone. I glance over to the door finally and see what he means.

 _Isabelle Lightwood._ But she's not alone either, there's a group of them.

"Shit," I say to him, trying to cover my face better. "They'll recognize me!" I whipsper yell at him.

"You'll be fine, I'll play it off," he mumbles as the camera flashes.

"Thank you so much," he says all excited and fake. It makes me smile to watch how bad his acting is. "My best friend would never believe that I actually met Riza Fairchild."

"No biggy," I say before dismissing him. He made it halfway out the door before they noticed.

"Simon Lewis?" Isabelle asks him. She looks between the two of us but I make myself busy with their gift bags.

"I almost forgot," I said plastering a fake smile on my lips. _This is a disaster._ "Here's your goodie bag, it was great to meet you."

I handed Simon a goodie bag and he panicked slightly.

"I'll figure something out," I whispered as he thanked me for my time and shut the door behind him.

"He goes to our school," Isabelle says again, this time slightly more excited. She waives a perfectly manicured hand in the air and gestures for the rest of the group behind her to move up. _Always the ring leader, somethings never change._

"Nice kid," I commented. "Wanted a picture for his best friend."

"Clarissa Morgenstern?" One of the boys said from behind her. "Isn't she that weirdo that never goes to anything and is crazy into art."

It took everything in power to keep my award-winning poker face on.

"She's hot though," another one commented.

"Can I get a picture with you," Isabelle asked while more of her group started making fun of me.

"Yup," I said quietly. "I take it their not fans?"

"They are," she said taking out her phone and putting it on camera mode. "They just won't admit it."

I flashed a perfect smile and thanked her for taking the time to see me. I took a few more pictures and shook a could more hands before I saw the rest of the boys.

"You can't touch that," I said stubbornly. His eyes shot around to meet mine and I instantly wanted to die.

 _Jace Herondale._

"Sorry," he said putting my varsity letterman jacket back on the hook.

 _Shit, he recognizes it. How could you be so stupid?_

"Is that yours? It's an awfully small size," he said grinning back to me.

"Yeah, why?" I answered crossing my arms.

"It's a letterman jacket from St. Xavier's," he said flashing teeth this time in his grin. "I have one just like it."

There was murmurs from around the room and I knew he was getting too close. I gulped down the panic that started to rise and finger combed my hair a couple times, a nervous habit I should really shake.

"Do you go to St. Xaviers?" One of the blondes in the background says stupidly. The boys all glared at her before she caught on.

"If Riza Fairchild went to school with us, don't you think we would know," Isabelle said back to her a little mean. But hey, it got her to shut up.

"Or you know someone that goes there," Jace said taking a step up to me.

"Well-, I ," I tried to say but I don't think a lie is going to work here. "Yes, I know some people that go there." I gave in.

Before anyone could question me or beg me to tell them more, there was a knock on the door.

"Times up," the security guard said nodding to me.

They filed out until all that remained was Jace and Isabelle.

"Isabelle, Jace," I said dismissing them. "Nice to meet you, please take the rest of the goodie bags as a thank you for taking the time to meet me."

"Bye, nice to meet you," Isabelle said waiving one last time. Jace just stared at me intently. "Jace, come on," she tried but his arms were crossed and he was studying me.

I gave him a determined glare and he took another step forward.

"I never introduced myself," he said. I started to panic again and Isabelle was now paying attention.

"We're a goodie bag short," Isabelle finally noticed after passing them to the rest of the group that was already out of the room.

"My apologies," I said trying to come up with something new. "I'm sure I can come up with something better than a goodie bag to thank you for your time, don't you think Isabelle?"

"Yes," she said excitedly.

I took a pair of brand new earrings from my personal collection, hoops that I usually only wear on stage that are glittered to match my dress perfectly.

Isabelle screamed and Jace kept staring at me like he could see right through to the real me. The real me that he makes fun of in school. The real me that would rather stay quiet in the back than dare challenge a _Lightwood_. I adjusted my shoulders and watched as he took the last remaining goodie bag.

"I must have quiet the reputation that 'Riza Fairchild' knows me from "friends"," he said with air quotes.

"Quite the reputation," I agreed formally, trying to get him to leave.

"Or," he said in a hushed tone. "You're not who you say you are."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 **Here I was, trying to update other stories, when these characters decided to talk to me instead. There has been at least a review on this one, so I'll give ya'll one chapter. I love ideas so don't be afraid to send some over.**

 **Make sure to check out my other stories, they're getting updated this week at some point. I'm working on the updates now so make sure you're all caught up.**

 **Characters belong to Cassie Clare.**

 **Clary POV**

"Miss Morgenstern," I hear again. I roll my eyes and look up to Mr. Blackthorn. "Can you tell me Hitler's reasons behind the genocide he caused?" I hate History so much. I contemplated his question and gave up rather quickly. I looked to Simon who seemed to know the answer but it's not like he could tell me now anyways.

"He was crazy," I went with. A few chuckles came from in front of me and Mr. Blackthorn didn't exactly look pleased. He let out an annoyed huff and turned back around.

"Pop quiz," he said sternly. "Tomorrow – be ready. Thanks to Miss Morgenstern, we could use a little test on WW2."

"World War 2 was the one in America, Mr. Blackthorn," some chick said from the middle of the classroom. I could see the tips of her perfectly manicured hand from around the two people in front of me.

"That was the Civil War," he said more annoyed with this chick than with me. _At least I'm not the only stupid one in this classroom._

Mr. Blackthorn pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a longer breath. "Pop Quiz," he repeated. "Be ready, or not."

He plopped himself down at his desk and started typing loudly on his computer.

"Hey," Simon said moving over to sit closer to me. I looked up to acknowledge him. "So, Isabelle Lightwood found me this morning."

"Why would she do that?" I asked, more confused that curious.

"She thinks I know something about _Riza Fairchild_ ," he said trying to keep his voice to a whisper.

The bell rang and we stayed back so we didn't get stuck in the door jammed with people.

"It's been going around all day," we heard from the group trying to leave.

"Riza Fairchild had a letterman's jacket to THIS school," another voice said. "Jace Herondale and Isabelle Lightwood said so."

"Is _Riza Fairchild_ going to be squashing any of these rumors anytime soon?" Simon asked quietly. I shook my head and followed the line out the door to find my locker.

"As long as they know that blonde hair is fake, they'll never connect her to me," I whispered back once we were in the clear.

"What if someone comes asking questions?" Simon asked all serious and paranoid.

"You deny it," I said calmly. "You are going to lie so hardcore they won't see it, do you understand, Simon?"

"Lie first, ask questions never," he said nodding back.

"That's right," I said happy to have that conversation over. It's not that I enjoy lying, but without it, we wouldn't have this life we love so much. "You don't need to worry, it's just a rumor, no one's ever going to come looking at me."

"I'm sure you're right," Simon said letting out a long breath.

We walked to our next class – I spaced out and he was going on about the latest comic book that he wanted. Right before we turned the corner, there was a shoulder slammed right into Simon. The result of Simon falling into me was myself falling into the locker beside us. Simon was too busy glaring at a smug Sebastian Verlac to help me steady myself.

 _I really love this life._ _If only I could eyeroll in my thoughts._

I caught the one and only, Jace Herondale's eyes from down the hall. We've gone to school together forever but he's never even looked in my direction. That's what people would call, _outrageous_.

I can't shake the way it felt for him to look at me so intently, like I mattered. I didn't notice it then, but it was there. It made me want to scream and be happy all at the same time. Like when he was looking at me as Riza, like I was something important.

He was so sure, like he could see right through me, that something was off. It scares me that he thinks he's on to something because what if he finds it? What would happen to me, or more importantly, Simon?

I looked away from him when it became too much to think about. Thank god Simon was walking next to me or I would've probably run into something else by now.

The rest of the day went by in a blur of thoughts and looking at the Lightwoods from a distance. We've never actually been friends, or talked even, but I want to keep them at a distance until this rumor blow over.

"Don't be mad, Luke," I said sliding into his car with Simon behind me.

"What do you mean?" he asks after the doors are shut and locked.

"There's a rumor," I said carefully. Simon looked a little uncomfortable but he was there at least.

"A rumor?" I nodded from the back seat. "Does this rumor have anything to do with what's all over the radio?"

"What's all over the radio?" I asked more alarmed this time and really confused. Simon mirrored my face and I could tell he didn't know either. Usually, he always knows before the rest of us. He likes to keep a social relationship with random people who gossip from time to time so we at least know if something happens.

Luke turned on the radio, it was an ending to one of my latest songs, one of my favorites.

 _"That was Riza Fairchild everyone! I just love that song!"_ the radio lady sang from the speakers. _"This young artist has been in the Top Ten 5 times now with songs from her new album, Get to Know Me. But what do we really know about her? Rumor has it she might live in New York, maybe still in High School. It's been brought to her fan page that she might be attending a small school called St. Xaviers, she claimed to own a Letterman's jacket from there to her fans backstage after her last show! So, who is this hot and new Riza Fairchild? And why is she such a big secret?"_

More music started to play but I had my face buried in my hands. Simon had a hand on my back but I could tell what they were thinking.

"I messed up this time," I said trying not to let the situation have the best of me. "I don't want this life that I love so much to get ruined, not yet."

"It's alright, baby girl," Luke said looking back at us. "We always figure it out. We'll figure it out this time too."

"It's everywhere," Simon said slightly panicked. "Everyone was talking about it today."

"I didn't mean too, I panicked," I said, this time my eyes were fighting back all emotion. "I said it was mine, but I didn't think they would care. It wasn't even supposed to out on the hangers. SO _STUPID._ "

"We just need to be careful," Luke said this time. "Riza has an interview later this weekend with GMA, maybe we can sort this out."

"How?" I asked choppily.

"We'll talk to Jon and your mom, see what they think," he started. "We can talk to Hodge and see if there's anything he can think of. We don't want to lie, necessarily, but we might be able to give them something else to talk about, how does that sound?"

"Simple," Simon said thinking. "Smart, it might work this time, if it's something major."

The next day, after spending all night doing homework with Simon to make sure I had time to do this GMA interview, I was sitting in front of my second-best friend in 'Hair and Makeup'.

"Sit still, Clare," Maia said trying to fix my eyebrows to be unnaturally even. She paints them brighter to better match the blonde hair. I shift again so I'm not sitting straight up and she gives me another look.

"I can't stop thinking about how close they could get to this," I said honestly. "They could find something else, too."

"They won't find anything if you put these blue contacts in your eyes and put that wig on," she said holding the box that carries my two lifelines to this beautiful life. I smile again, this time a little stronger than the last one.

I put the contacts in and drop some saline into them so they look real. I sit back and look into the mirror.

 _The same face, the same smile, the same eyes with a different color – but it's still me under this._

As if reading my mind, Maia holds up the finished wig up to the mirror. I take one more look in the mirror before I fully become someone else. I nod my head and look down so she can put it over the wrap holding my real hair up.

When I look up, I don't recognize myself.

"That's the point, darling," she said patting stray ends down.

"At least we're safe," I say in return.

"You and Simon need to be careful," she said present the finished product. "If they connect me into this too, I'm not sure we're gonna be able to get out of this one."

She's right. Even if I want her to be wrong.

People would know that they know something, that they know everything. They wouldn't be safe anymore.

Two knocks came from the dressing room door followed by the sound of the knob turning.

"Right on time," Maia whispers. "Good luck."

"We're ready for you," the stage lady announced.

"Let's go," I said standing up to follow her. I put on my award-winning smile and put the robe hood over my head.

"It's an honor miss," she said leading me through multiple hallways filled with small packs of fans.

"Thank you," I say like I rehearsed it a hundred times. "It's an honor to be here."

She smiles wide and I hand her my robe. There are a number of screams from behind us so I smile and wave before focusing back on the situation at hand.

"You'll perform your song first, just as described in the paperwork," she said going through the plans with me. "You'll be asked to sit, you sit, blah blah blah. Nothing unplanned is scheduled to occur."

"Sounds perfect," I say flashing her the same smile.

"Be prepared for personal questions as well as a couple about the latest rumor," she said warningly. "Good luck."

"Thanks, Charlotte," I said finally.

I was handed the microphone and I stepped up to the stage. It was still covered but I could see the last few people scrambling to get behind the scenes.

"Center stage," I was directed by a woman with gorgeous long black hair and high stilettos. She points to the middle and I do as she asks. "You'll do great," she says before walking off the stage as well.

I looked down and faced the back, as practiced, and held the microphone at my side. I ran my hand down the side of my bright blue sundress and looked at my perfectly manicured finger tips. The nails are press on, and will come off after this, but no one else needs to know that.

The curtain came up, the music started, and I sang.

 _No there ain't nothing that I gotta prove_

 _You think your words will make me black and blue_

 _But I, I think I'm pretty with these old boots on_

I look down at my worn down bright white country boots that contrast with my lightly tanned skin. The small live crowd is incredible but the tv cameras coming from all angles kind of ruin the experience.

 _You try and change me you can go to hell_

 _'Cause I don't want to be nobody else_

 _I like the chip I got in my front teeth_

 _And I got bad tattoos you won't believe_

 _So kick out the jams, kick up the soul_

 _Pour another glass of that rock and roll_

 _Turn up the band, fire in the hole_

 _Gonna lose control tonight_

I look around this time as the background music continues to play and catch my breath. The crowd is captivating, as usual, but I see it this time, I don't know how I missed them before. Bright and perfect, encouraging every last drop of my being right from me – that pair of golden eyes staring back at me from the second row. Izzy, Alec, and the woman from the stage smile back up to me and I see it. _Mrs. Lightwood works here._

 _What do you want from me, I'm not America's sweetheart_

 _So beat the drum with me, I'm not America's sweetheart_

 _Well they say I'm too loud for this town_

 _So I lit a match and burned it down_

 _What do you want from me, I'm not America's sweetheart_

 _But you love me anyway_

 _My hands are dirty and my heart is cold_

 _The boys I've been with say I got no soul, when I_

 _I meet another honey at the bar_

 _I'll think it's funny when I break his heart, hm now_

 _My kind of medicine is whiskey straight_

 _I got a mouth to put you in your place, and they_

 _They said I'll never be the poster type_

 _But they don't make posters of my kind of life_

 _Well they say I'm too loud for this town_

 _So I lit a match and burned it down_

 _What do you want from me, I'm not America's sweetheart_

 _But you love me anyway_

 _You love me anyway_

 _I'm not America's sweetheart, no, no, no_

I finish the song and turn the microphone to off. The crowd applauses me but more importantly, _they_ are applauding me. They're probably only here to see if they can get more out of me, but that can't happen.

"Riza Fairchild, everyone," the host calls from behind me. "With her latest hit."

I take a small curtsy before greeting the woman behind me.

"Go ahead, take a seat, let's chat for a bit," she says cheekily.

 _She only wants what I can't give her._

I smile widely back but my hand fidgets with the hem of my dress that falls to my thigh.

"How are you?" she asks and I easily comply to that one.

"I'm great," I start with a bubbly grin. "We've been working really hard to finish this album on time, as well as give the fans what they want. I've featured two the latest songs in my latest concerts. The fans seem to really love them so far."

"That is the truth," she says laughing back. "We sure do love them." I sit awkwardly for a moment but she continues. "So, let's get down to business."

I felt my heart jump when she shifted some papers on the table in front of us.

"Obviously, I think the fans want to know some more about these rumors," she asked with a slightly more serious face this time.

"Something more specific?" I ask back with a smile. I only say this back when I want to answer a specific question.

There was a picture of my letterman's jacket from St. Xaviers to appear on the screen above us and she grinned. "This was spotted in the dressing room at your latest concert, can you tell us about the high school jacket?"

The crowd got really quiet and I smiled wide and remembered the rehearsed answers my parents wrote for me.

"It is mine," I said followed by murmurs from the crowd. "But not like you are all thinking." I said again. They got quiet. "I did go to St. Xaviers, before I started my career with music two years ago."

"That would have made you what, a freshman?" she asked this time.

"Yes," I answered. "I was a freshman. My experience was great but I kept to my small circle of friends." She didn't look entirely convinced. "I have an older brother, so physical activities came to me in high school."

"So, the rumor saying that you are currently attending high school right now is false?" she continues.

"I'm in school," I clarify. "But for my safety, and those around me, I don't indulge those juicy details," I say to her disappointment.

The crowd murmurs again and she waits until they quiet back down.

"It's been so nice talking to you today, thank you so much for your time, Miss Fairchild," she concludes after a long moment. I smile cheekily at her and shake her hand.

It wasn't defeat in her eyes though, it was desperation. _She's already asked all of her questions._

"Would you mind answering one more thing for us?" she says standing with the crowd. I don't answer so she keeps going anyways. "It's been rumored lately, that these songs have been inspired by a special someone. Do you have any comments on that?"

 _They can have these parts of me, but they can't have this. This is mine, not theirs._

"Yes," I answer against every wish my body has left. They already knew the answer, saying "no" would be lying on national television. "But that's a surprise for the end of the album."

She seems satisfied with my answer and concludes that the time is up.

"What are you going to do?" Maia asked me back in the dressing room. We can't take anything off until I get home safely, just in case we're followed.

"They can't have that too."

The panic in my heart hurts but I can't break right now. That's what they want.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **I apologize for my unplanned haitus this summer, but thankfully, I did find the time to write some updates. Every other story is updated expect Daggered Hearts, sorry I'm still working on that one. Thank you to everyone that is still reading my stories, it makes it a lot more motivating to write when I have you guys reading and reviewing! Without further introduction, I give you chapter 3 of Life Unexpected.**

 **Ed Sheeran – Photograph**

 **Rachel Platten – Fight song**

 **Characters belong to Cassie Clare.**

 **Clary POV**

I wish the weekend could have lasted longer. I asked my parents to let me have a skip day but they both refused, saying it would 'look suspicious'. I don't care anymore, I just want to feel safe again. It stresses me out knowing that people are trying to sniff out any juicy secret they can out of me – and they're getting really close too. The last thing I want is for people to thin I don't care about my fans, but if I didn't then I wouldn't have any fans at all. What to do then?

I stare down at the latest of my many drawings of Jace Herondale. I'm not a stalker, he just has the body and face of a god. We've gone to the same school for forever but he's only ever acknowledged me, as Clary, a handful of times. He's not even bad company to keep around, he's just a ring leader of the most popular group St. Xavier's has to offer.

When I first moved to town, there was some kids that were bullying me because of my hair. It got so bad that I was skipping school, not working on my music, and secluding myself when I was at school. I only had Simon for a friend and it's not like he could do much.

One day, when Sebastian Verlac was pulling on my braids while my brother wasn't looking, he pulled too hard and pulled me off my chair. Everyone laughed at me and I cried from the pain in me head.

If you can believe it, of all people, Jace Lightwood was the one that stood up to me. He said, _"I'm tired of your games, Sebastian – leave her alone or pick on someone your own size."_

Sebastian never came near me again; he even ended up switching schools because people labeled him as a bully after that. Jace helped me up and flattened my braid back down.

 _"He won't mess with you again, no one will,"_ he had said quietly. The entire room was looking at us, especially Simon. He took his phone the desk and took a quick selfie of us – his arm around my waist pulling us closer and the biggest grin on his face. _"I'll email it to you,"_ he said quickly. After another moment, he was gone.

Our school has designated school emails so it's not like he had to look me up or anything. An hour later, my phone buzzed with the picture and one small caption. _You should smile more, it looks good on you._

I put that picture in my locket next to the one with my parents and I on the first night I ever performed as Riza Fairchild. Someone could definitely connect the dots if they saw it, so no one's ever been allowed to look inside of it. I keep it safely tucked away under every shirt, even as Riza Fairchild, to remind me to smile. It reminds me that the world isn't always so bad, even when it feels like it could come crashing down any second. At least I have two happy memories to remember.

He's the only one that has ever stood up to me – and the only member of the popular group that has never made fun of me. After that, it was like I was invisible, just enough to get by with my secret all these years.

* * *

"Clary," I heard.

"Yeah," I said a little too fast.

"You checked out again," Simon said at our lunch table. We share our table with only a couple other people. Jordan and Maia sit with us sometimes, when they're not making out in a janitor closet somewhere. On occasion, even Magnus will sit with us, when he doesn't feel like sitting with the populars. He's one of the only people that has ever gotten away with being friends with everyone and anyone at the same time.

"You alright?" Maia asked slowly. Jordan only knew my secret because he walked in on Maia and I practicing new makeup styles one day at her house, and I had my wig out. He has been sworn to secrecy, not even my parents know that he knows.

"Yeah," I lied as best I could.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked making sure no one else was around to listen in.

"They're getting really close," I said painfully. "Too close. Yesterday they had a police officer asking questions in the main office about _Riza Fairchild_ and if she ever attended here."

"At least school records are confidential," Maia said shrugging. "And your parents said they would take care of that."

"That doesn't change the fact that they still tried," I mumbled.

"No one can prove it but you," she said honestly.

"Unless you pull that wig off your head in front of someone, there really is no way to be 100% sure," Simon assured me as well. "Even if they suspect, they can't be sure."

"Too bad you can't put the wig on and walk around in public for a while," I said putting my head on my arms.

"I know," Maia said gently. "I'm sure there's something else we can do, your parents will figure this out, they always do."

"I don't want to let it go yet," I said wiping away the emotion from my face. "I'm not ready. It's not time yet."

* * *

Simon, Maia, and I are sitting at our favorite spot in the neighborhood park. We come here all the time to do homework and mess around. It's one of the only places we go that we are just ourselves, nothing more and nothing less. I sang my first song just as me at this park for a fundraising event back in Jr. High. It's been our place ever since.

"Turn that up!" Maia practically screamed when the next song played on Simon's Bluetooth speaker.

"But it's Ed Sheeran," Simon complained maxing out the volume.

Maia and stood up to sing and dance to the song. She took my hand as we did our favorite waltz. It might look weird to any passing bystander to see two girls waltzing at the park, but for us it was normal.

 _Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes  
But it's the only thing that I know  
When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes  
It is the only thing makes us feel alive_

We spun around the swings and Simon took out his phone. He likes to video some of the crazy things we do in case we're ever split up or something happens. He calls it a 'video diary'.

 _We keep this love in a photograph  
We made these memories for ourselves  
Where our eyes are never closing  
Hearts are never broken  
And time's forever frozen still_

We split apart this time because Maia doesn't like to sing the lead part. I stood in front of us and sang the wonderful song.

 _So you can keep me  
Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans  
Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet  
You won't ever be alone, wait for me to come home_

 _Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul  
And it's the only thing that I know, know  
I swear it will get easier  
Remember that with every piece of you  
Hm, and it's the only thing we take with us when we die_

 _And if you hurt me  
That's okay baby, only words bleed  
Inside these pages you just hold me  
And I won't ever let you go_

 _Oh, you can fit me  
Inside the necklace you got when you were sixteen  
Next to your heartbeat where I should be  
Keep it deep within your soul_

 _And if you hurt me  
Well, that's okay baby, only words bleed  
Inside these pages you just hold me  
And I won't ever let you go_

I held myself together as the song rode itself out. Maia and Simon always clap for me when we sing songs together. I took a mock bow and twirled around.

My phone rang and I rolled my eyes as I answered it.

"Mom?" I asked, she usually doesn't call me home on a school night. She wants me to live like normal teenager while I can.

"You guys need to come," she said quickly. "Emergency interview, two hours."

"Guys, we have to go," I said gathering my books from the grass.

"We're doing some damage control on all this drama," she said. That was enough for me.

* * *

The three of us came barreling into my house like a train wreck. Simon waited downstairs with my parents while Maia and I hit my bathroom with Riza's makeup kit.

Our record time, an hour and ten minutes later, we came running back down the stairs. I have my full _Riza_ on as we run to the garage for the car with the tinted windows.

Exactly twenty minutes later, I was sitting in front of a stage manager getting briefed on the interview before we were live on the air. How my parents can book an emergency channel 3 interview, I'll never know, but it helps to be powerful in the industry.

"Your singing the next single for the new album," my mom instructed.

"I thought we were saving that one for the end," I said with a questionable tone.

"We have a plan," she said waiving her hand. "You need to show that you are strong right now. Show the people they can't walk all over you."

"Okay," I said giving her a hug and stepping to the stage entrance.

"Good afternoon, Riza," the lady said from beside me. I gently shook her hand and took a sit across from her.

"Thanks for having me," I said smiling as rehearsed.

"This is your second interview this week already, is it not?" she asked with an appealing edge to her voice. I smiled wide before answering.

"It is," I confirmed, "but it's no trouble."

"Well we are thrilled to have you," she said cheekily. "It's my understanding that there has been some slight controversy over you. We have some tweets that could really use a comment just to clear things up for everyone, if that's okay with you."

"Of course," I said sitting forward to see the screen on the wall next to us portraying the first tweet.

 _If Riza Fairchild went to St. Xaviers, I think we would have noticed RizaFairchild_

"It seems that no one remembers going to school with you," she said moving her hands with her mouth. "Is it possible that there could have been a mistake? It was 3 years ago now? Right? You are a senior now?" she asked again.

"Yes, I am a senior now," I commented back. "However, there is a little misunderstanding," I said just like we rehearsed. "I was homeschooled until Jr. High, provided by the St. Xavier's curriculum. So while I was officially attending the school, I was not actually present."

It wasn't a lie, but it was. I was homeschooled, just not at St. Xaviers.

The next tweet came up.

 _She has a varsity jacket, you only get those if you go there, unless it's not hers RizaFairchild_

"And you have a varsity jacket then because?" she asked with a mocking tone.

"It's my brother's," I said with a cheeky grin. "He gave it to me while I was homeschooling."

"So your bother attended St. Xavier's then?" she said fishing for more information.

"Yes," I said confidently. "And before anyone decides to go searching him out, you should know that school records are confidential and our last names are different. We take precaution for our safety as well as those around us. As for any rumor out there that I am not who I say I am," I continued arrogantly. "My name is my name, not yours." I put a shit-eating grin on my face and stood up next to the microphone on the stage. "My next performance is coming up in a week, and I will refund every backstage pass if this charade continues. My safety is more important than this paparazzi propaganda."

The host looked a little pissed but she evened out her face.

"Well I think that took care of any concerns fans have about you or your past," she said smiling at the camera. "Riza has graciously agreed to perform her brand new, first time ever on the air, single hit song from her latest album. This makes four of twelve folks! We heard from your last interview that this album had something to do with a guy?"

"Yes," I said simply.

"No juicy details?" she asked with a puppy dog face.

"Unrequited love," I said into the microphone. "What goes through you when you think about someone all the time – want someone all the time – and how to keep going. It's about having confidence in yourself even though you know you won't ever get that one thing you want so badly."

"Your last few songs that have been released have been about the emotional side of the rollarcoaster, correct? With Never Your Girl, I Can't Be Me and Be With You, Not Really Letting Go, and America's Sweetheart, what will we have next?"

"My Fight Song," I said with a grin. "It's actually the last song in the series but I thought you would like a sneak peek."

"You thought correctly," she cheered as the song began.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 **Another update for my lovely readers. I, again, will apologize for how long it took me to get an update up, but you will all be thrilled to know that I haven't abandoned you. I'm still trying to get on a schedule again, but it's not as easy this year as it was last year. Bear with me, we will make a story out of this yet.**

 **I love you all for following and reviewing while I have been away, I appreciate the love. Let me know if y'all have any ideas, it always helps with inspiration.**

 **Characters belong to Cassie Clare.**

 **If I Loose Myself and Feel Again by One Republic.**

 **Clary POV**

Back to my real life, the life I love to much. I forget why it's so important to keep 'Riza' hidden, when people see me as Clary, I'm invisible, virtually. Riza can make a difference, her voice can change things without trying. She's everything I've always wanted to be.

Look at myself, talking about my counterpart like she's not just me wearing a stupid disguise. This is the part that I hate the most. Riza is me, were the same person, but Clary can't make a difference, or make boys trip over themselves. Clary certainly hasn't sold out the Amphitheater for next weekend. The reality is, one half of me is clearly better than the other.

I looked up from my locker to see Jace walking through the hallway. He wipes his hair up with his hand, making at least three nearby girls swoon. He nodded in their direction, licking his lips and "accidentally" sticking his tongue between his teeth for too long. I'm pretty sure the blonde in the middle just wet herself. I roll my eyes and bury my head back in my locker.

Clary isn't blonde, but Riza is. Clary has Green eyes, Riza's are blue. Riza has an incredible voice, Clary's is scratchy and average at best. Life used to be so much simpler. I could sing my songs, be myself, burn as bright as I wanted before we created Riza. Now I have to be average, now, I have to be careful of the people who hear me, the people who get too close.

Jace is my greatest sin. He's the main reason I created Riza. People like Jace may not have ever listened to a girl like Clary. But when I'm Riza, when I step up. Everyone listens. He was my first, second, and latest boy who's ever held my heart. Which is mildly stupid because he doesn't even know me, or Riza, or why he means so much to me. He's the only thing I can have in both lives. Riza can sing from the top of her lungs about the boy she can't ever have. But Clary can imagine having him, holding him, kissing him.

I can see him now, hiding under his white v neck tee shirts and worn out leather jacket – his perfectly tight jeans and boots - those football tee shirts that all the boys cut the sides off of so they use the scrapped tee shirt to wipe sweat off themselves when they work out. Jace Herondale doesn't need to fit in, he is the in.

By why would I love a boy who's basically a "fuck boy"? It's better to show you.

 **Flashback**

The sounds of my guitar were cut off by the sounds of shouting outside my house. I run up to my window and push the blinds open to see Simon. He's my best friend, the only person who wants to be friends with a homeschooled girl. Simon's just Simon, but he's my Simon.

I watch him until I can see all of him in my driveway. He looks up at my window and smiles when he sees me watching. I give him a small wave and he grins wider. I crack open my window to yell a _hello_ but I already hear other voices.

"SIMON," I hear them before I see them. There's a group of boys on skateboards, all of them in the same grade as us.

I see Simon's face turn down as he turns around to see the intruders.

"What do you want Sebastian?" he says through gritted teeth. Sebastian was really only nice when he wanted to be. Otherwise he was quite the little asshole. Even in Jr. High, all the girls wanted to kiss him, and all the boys wanted to be him. Next to Jace, Seb basically got whatever he wanted. Unless Jace said no, Seb did whatever he wanted.

I ran out of my room so fast I tripped when I pushed my way through the front door of my house.

I stood there for a moment, staring at the boys and the angry look on Seb's face. He never liked it when Jace stepped up to him, but he sure as hell wasn't going to pick a fight with the Golden Boy either.

It took me a moment before I noticed Jace, in all his glory. I didn't notice he wasn't wearing a shirt now but I certainly noticed this time. He stands in front of Simon, his arms crossed and his muscles tightened.

He was beautiful, even then, Jace was a force to be reckoned with. His hair had a shinning gleam of sweat to him from being outside with the boys all afternoon and his skin looked tanned to an 'accidental perfection'.

"What are you going to do?" Seb asked angrily. I snapped my head to Seb, who had just noticed me at the front door. "Going to save the damsel in distress?"

He was looking at me, but we all know he just called Simon the damsel.

Jace laughed this time, not a cruel laugh, not even a humorous laugh. He was standing so Seb couldn't even see Simon anymore, let alone touch him. I walked up until Simon saw me this time and his eyes widened. He looked scared, really scared.

My eyes locked with Seb's and he gave me an excited smile.

"We came for Simon, but Clary will do," he said trying to sidestep Jace. I stepped up but Simon had knocked me down. I saw red for a moment as the side of my body collided with the concrete of my driveway. My knee was screaming at me and my hand was bleeding from trying to catch myself. "Look at lover boy over here," he said, making the boys behind him laugh.

I looked up and saw that Simon was standing in front of me, his arms crossed as if to step up to Seb himself.

The two boys were closer than I felt comfortable with now. Simon could get really hurt this time.

Sebastian stepped up with a scowl on his face. I could tell, even from behind, that Simon was scared and there was nothing I could do about it. I closed my eyes and pulled my arms over my head, it's really going to happen this time.

I only opened my eyes when I heard two bodies collide. I was sure I was going to see Simon on the ground and the boys smiling and running away.

What I saw, I would never forget…

Jace.

I saw Jace standing in front of Simon again. This time, Seb and Jace are chest to chest, Jace's arms crossed and his eyes narrowed.

"I said," Jace said harshly this time. "You are _going_ to leave them alone."

"What the hell are you going to do?!" Sebastian said nastily.

Jace's arms unwound themselves and stayed scary still by his sides. His shoulders rolled in anticipation of fighting. Every muscle contracted in his back and the boys behind Seb stepped back.

"Unless you want to look like a pussy in front of those boys," Jace said looking back to them. "Would anyone else like to step up?" he howled proudly. No one moved. "Sad, Sebastian, no takers. You and I can still do this, though. I've been itching to hit something stupid all day."

Seb snarled and turned his back, not looking back as they disappeared from my drive way.

 _Jace._ I wanted to say it so badly. Even if it made me stupid.

"Si," I said instead. I lifted myself off the ground and regretted it instantly.

I couldn't see past the tears I didn't know I had shed. _Now I'm crying in front of Jace Herondale._

"You could be hurt, please don't move," I heard Simon say next to me.

I couldn't hear them talking properly but I could've sworn it was Simon asking Jace for help.

The next thing I knew, I was being lifted and carried by a pair of strong and golden arms.

By the time I could calm myself down, I was on my bed and Simon was looking for the first aid kit. Jace was sitting on his knees in front of me, me being on the edge of my bed. He was looking at my hands, palm turned up, and blowing away some of the leftover pebbles from my cut.

"Can you do me a favor, Clary?" he said acknowledging me for the first time in years.

I didn't think it was possible for my voice to come out steady so I shook my head instead. Jace knew my name, and I didn't think he even saw me.

"Can you not step up to Sebastian Verlac?" Jace said with a small smile forming on his lips.

"He was going to hurt him," I said quietly. We all knew that _him,_ meant Simon.

"Nothing's going to hurt you," Jace said looking me in the eyes for the first time in my life. "He might be a bully, but I'm not."

"What are you then?" I asked stupidly.

He lifted my fingers in his hand and bowed his head as if to offer a 'proper' hand shake.

"How about," he said as if he was thinking about it. "Jace. Just Jace."

"Well, _just Jace_ ," I said letting myself smile back. "It was nice to meet you."

The smile he gave me then, wasn't a fake playboy smile – he wasn't trying to make me swoon or impress me. He was, Just Jace.

 **End of Flashback**

Sitting with Maia in the music room during our free period was normal, this was our happy place. She was playing some strings on the school's guitar and I was sitting on the chair by the microphone pretending to try out new sounds I can make with my mouth.

"Isn't that the cord for my latest song?" I asked her when I noticed the familiar tune.

"Did you want to take it for a round?" she asked with a grin. She knows that singing always makes me feel better.

"First," I said walking sarcastically around the microphone. "They'll ask me about it."

"Miss Fray," Maia said laughing at the mocking tone she uses to impersonate a show host. "Tell us what this next song is about."

* * *

My eyes are shining blue, and my hair is glimmering blond.

I look the latest show host in the eyes and make a dramatic face to show how excited I am to be here.

"Riza," she asks more serious this time. "I have been told you have a new song for us?"

"Of course," I said winking at the crowd. "I love bringing presents for my fans." I blew a kiss to the people in the front row and watched how excited they got.

"Tell us what this next song is about," she said crossing her hands in her lap.

"Last week, I sang the last song of my album, America's Sweetheart," I said smiling as wide as I could. "Even though we're okay in the end, we all know how bumpy the ride is." I got some murmurs from the crowd and I stood up to make my way to the small studio stage.

The music started. People stood. I could make a difference.

 _I stared up at the sun  
Thought of all the people,  
Places and things I've loved_

 _You can feel the light start to tremble  
Washing what you know out to sea  
You can see your life out of the window, tonight_

 _If I lose myself tonight  
It'll be by your side  
If I lose myself tonight  
Wooh, wooh, wooh!_

 _It's been a long time coming since I've seen your face  
I've been everywhere and back trying to replace  
Everything that I've had till my feet went numb  
Praying like a fool that's been on the run  
Heart still beating but it's not working  
It's like a million dollar phone that you just can't ring  
I reach out trying to love but I feel nothing  
Yeah, my heart is numb_

 _But with you, I feel again  
Yeah with you, I can feel again, yeah_

 _I'm feeling better since you know me  
I was a lonely soul but that's the old me_

 _If I lose myself tonight  
It'll be by your side_

"Miss Fray," the host said once I had sat back down. "What a good song, I think we can all relate."

"I'm glad," I said smiling. "I spent a lot of time on that song, it had to be perfect."

"By far, it is," she said clapping her hands together. "It is also to my understanding that there is a special someone responsible for this album of love. Would you like to tell us a little more about that?"

"There is a special someone behind the inspiration for this album, that much is obvious," I said smiling as brightly as I could. "I've known him for a long time, I never thought he really saw the real me, that kind of thing."

"Do you think he sees you now? Now that you're famous?" she asked this time.

"No," I said honestly.

I took the confusion on her face as my sign to continue.

"We can't help falling in love," I began again. "I wrote this song based on the first day I knew that I was falling, and falling hard." I took a small pause to look at the crowd. "He once told me… when I noticed him for the first time, the real him… that nothing was going to hurt me. I think that I put this album out there to show the world that there's more than one way to hurt – that there's more than one way to live. In that moment, the one that I spent with him, I guess I just _felt_ again. _I felt everything."_

I always wondered if Jace payed attention to how close he was getting to my secret. I wondered if he knew how many number one hit songs I have written thinking about him. He knew he was getting close now, and I knew he was getting close.

Maybe it was a matter of time. What would I do when that time comes? _I don't know._


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 6**

 **College started back up and I have a million things I'm doing at once, but none of them should have kept me away from writing for this long. I'm sorry guys. I'm trying.**

 **I'll get right too it so I have more time to write.**

 **Characters belong to Cassie Clare.**

 **Clary POV**

"Just thinking about loosing this life makes my head spin," I said out loud.

"On the bright side," Simon said with a smile that could only mean he's trying to help. "You'll never loose us."

"Yeah," Maia agreed. "You're stuck with us."

"I just wish there was a way to end this without changing my life," I said laying back on my pillows. We were supposed to be working on homework but its Friday and my head hurts.

"Have you spoken to your brother yet?" Simon asked playing with his loose shoe string.

"My parents said he was coming home for a few days but if anything, that'll make the situation worse," I said with a grunt. "People from St. Xavier's still idolize Jon. And they might think there's a connection between him coming home mid semester and Riza."

"Clary, I highly doubt that people will think that Jon is connected to Riza in any way," Maia said mockingly.

"He's not really the type to get involved in famous singers," Simon added.

"And the Lightwoods?" I asked getting increasingly frustrated. "Mrs. Lightwood _WORKS_ for the studio where I do my interviews. It would take one time for Isabelle or Jace to sneak into my dressing room when my guard isn't up and they would know everything."

The looks I got from Simon and Maia didn't make me feel any better. I wanted to scream. This entire thing only started because I was cold and couldn't find another clean jacket. I just had to wear my letterman's jacket and someone just had to recognize it.

"Clary," I heard from the other side of the door followed by two knocks.

"Yes, mom?" I said loud enough for her to hear me.

"I know you had a rough day but can the three of you come downstairs? Jon is home," she replied. Even though Simon and Maia aren't really supposed to be involved in matters to do with Riza, my family doesn't leave them out of anything. They know that my two best friends are there for me, no matter what.

"Be right down," I said standing up. Simon and Maia exchanged a look of hope before pulling themselves up from my bed. "Maybe Jon has an idea?"

I heard one snicker from Maia, but she's never thought very highly of Jon since he almost didn't pass high school and is barely getting by in college. Sometimes he's smart.

Simon just nods with a bright smile he always gives me when he doesn't want to give up.

We take our places on the large couches in the living room. My moms hangs up the phone and joins us.

"Sorry honey, the studio has been trying to get us to agree to another interview for next week but we've been putting them off," my mom says with a look of disappointment on her face.

"I thought Riza wasn't supposed to say no to an interview?" Maia asked before I could.

"She's not supposed to but we don't want this getting any worse," Luke said coming in from the kitchen. He placed a chaste kiss on my mother's head before joining her on the couch.

"Hey baby sis," Jon says following right behind him. I jump up to give my brother a bear hug. _My life was so much easier with Jon in school with me._ He's so familiar, like the last time I saw him. His dark jeans and Adidas shoes fitting as perfectly as he could manage with a grey V-neck tee shirt. His hair has always been a mess, that's nothing new. He just looks grown up, like the last six months made him into an _adult_ or something.

"Can't… Breathe..." I said as he squeezed me harder than I could manage. He laughed and let me go, watching me fall back onto the couch. I smile wide at his shenanigans and he takes his own place on the couch.

"Do we have any ideas?" Simon asks this time. Usually he's quiet during these meetings but I know how much this situation is getting to him.

"I have one," Jon said but he didn't look confident. "But I don't know if it'll work without some serious dedication.

"Define 'serious dedication', Jon?" I ask with a little annoyance. His ideas are always ridiculous. But no one else seems to have any ideas.

"I've been following all of the drama that has come up with the jacket sighting at that concert. People are starting to make up stories because nothing has been explained or confirmed by Riza. Eventually, they'll start making up a lot worse stories that what's been going around. So far, it's just 'Riza had a one-night stand and took the jacket' or 'Riza is basically Hannah Montana'," he said with the most dramatic finger quotations he could manage.

"So…," Maia said with hand gestures of her own waiving through the air.

"So, we give them a story, one that covers all the bases, one that can't be argued," Jon said like it was obvious.

"I tried that," I said crossing my arms. "Did you not see that last interview-,"

"Oh, I saw it, but it didn't solve anything, in fact, that interview created more questions," he said crossing his arms to mimic me. "It definitely didn't solve anything."

"What am I supposed to do then?" I asked with my eyebrows raised and my voice filled with irritation.

"Create a love story," he says bluntly. My mom gasps and her mouth drops into a surprised O. Luke about drops his cup of coffee on himself and I swear I heard Maia laugh besides me. Simon goes a still as a board with his eyes wide and expression worried.

"I mean it," he continues. "If Riza were to 'fall in love' with the so called 'inspiration of her album', you guys could do an interview together and that would take care of all the 'Hannah Montana' rumors. Obviously, Riza would be who she says she is if she's in a committed relationship. Downside, the two of you would have to make some public outings for the paparazzi and you would both miss a few more days of school. It would also mean the end of the _other_ rumors because people would be more focused on the love story that they wouldn't care about whether or not Riza ever went to St. Xavier's. It's actually simple and still perfect."

"There's something wrong with that plan," I state, my entire body going numb. "The boy would have to know my identity, he'd have to be able to cover it up in the case of an emergency."

"Yes, he would," Jon said slowly. "I just haven't gotten there yet."

"Well come on, Jon," our mother says with an interested face. "I've never been crazy for boys but this could actually work.

"That leaves you with three options, then," Jon says wincing slightly. "Me, Simon, or the real guy you wrote your album about."

"NO," I said a little too fast. "NOT happening."

"Who even is this guy?" Maia says with peaked interest.

"Clary never told you who it is?" Jon asked with the same interested expression. "Of all people I thought the two of you might know."

"Clary never told anyone," Maia says with an offended look on her face.

"I never will," I shot back. "You guys asked for a Grammy worthy album and that's what I gave you. _HE_ was never a part of the deal."

"Neither was this mess we are in now," Jon states back. I know he's not wrong. But I can't risk it. _THEY CAN'T HAVE THIS PART OF ME,_ I argued in myself.

"I'll do it," I said with mixed emotions. "But it won't be you or Simon, and it won't be him. We'll find someone else. Someone we can trust but someone that won't complicate everything. I can just say that he was never interested but I found someone else."

"We can work on it and see if it'll work," Luke says with a weak smile to reassure me. "But it might not be convincing enough if it's not real."

"We'll figure it out then," I argued. My face is heating up and I feel myself going back to those feelings of vulnerability. The feelings I felt when my heart broke the first time, and the second time, and the third time. "He is not an option."

"How are you even so sure?" Maia asks this time. She stands up to argue with me, her arms crossed and her eyes unsure. "Have you ever spoken to him? Ever even asked? You're an awesome person, Clary, and I am 100% sure that any guy would be lucky to do this with you. Whether they return your feelings or not."

"I am sure," I said sternly.


	6. Chaoter 6

**I know I want to be updating more, but time is just getting away from me. None of my stories are on haitus, they will updated eventually. In the meantime, enjoy this chapter that I have spent weeks putting together for this story.**

 **Characters belong to Cassie Clare.**

 **CPOV**

Getting out of bed this morning was harder than it's ever been this month. Out of all the solutions my family could've come up with, they come up with getting a boyfriend. Not just any boyfriend, a real boyfriend. They want me to make it look so real that the whole world believes it. I can't blame them really it's a good idea, I just wish there was a way out of this that didn't include an outsider to my secret.

I clasp my locket around my neck, and straighten out the chain so it lays perfectly to my collarbone. I give it a tight squeeze to draw confidence from the memories it holds inside.

I feel like I would be betraying him by agreeing to this. Or at least betraying the feeling I've always had for him.

 _Why can't it be Jace?_

 _Would it really be that hard to talk to him?_

Would he really reject me? Even after what he did for Simon, and what he did for me, maybe he could be the _just Jace_ I fell in love with that day. Just thinking about it makes me wish everything was different. Makes me wish that I could just walk up to him and tell him everything and know that he would protect me like he did all those years ago.

 _Well he's not the same guy he was all those years ago._ I've seen him change into the schools most desired player with my own eyes. He doesn't care about anyone like that anymore.

The sound of my locker being slammed in front of my face breaks me out of my thoughts. I look at Simon who looks uncomfortable with his arms crossed and eyes wandering around the room. It takes me a second before I realize he wasn't looking at anything random but Jace Herondale. The next thing I realized was that I was staring at Jace from where he stands at his locker on the other end of the hallway.

"You're staring at him, Clary," he said raising an eyebrow with a smile on his lips. I roll my eyes and punch his shoulder.

"I was not, you were staring at him first," I said defensively grabbing my backpack and turning the other direction. "I was just staring off into space thinking about what I'm going to do and he just happened to be there."

Simon let out an unconvinced sound. "Ok, yeah, I have to go to class but we'll catch up at lunch." He waved me goodbye and started down the hallway.

I didn't mean to be staring at him. Simon is smart, and he could very easily figure out that he is the one I wrote my album about. But I'm starting to think that that's not the worst thing in the world. I should have told Simon and Maia along time ago, I just didn't think they would understand.

I wait for the hallway to clear out before I make any move to leave. This is my free period and I really just wanted to spend it alone.

I make my way outside to the courtyard where I can find some piece and quiet. No one comes out here anymore because it's too far away from the main building. I love it here because I can draw without being interrupted all the time.

I pick up my back to look for my sketch pad. I'm drawing helps me feel better , maybe it would help to draw instead of getting lost in my thoughts about my sucky situation and my situation with Jace. It probably isn't healthy that all the best drawings in it are of him but he's my greatest secret, you can't blame a girl for having a pretty bad crush.

"Clary," I hear from behind me. I slammed my sketchbook closed so they couldn't could see what I was working on. The voice didn't sound like Simon or Maia and if anyone else saw those drawings it could be disastrous. Then I realized he was standing in the doorway.

"Jace," I said in barely a whisper. His hands were shoved in his pockets and he looked uncomfortable. When I met his eyes he seemed to relax a little but it did nothing to calm my nerves. "What are you doing here?" I asked trying to keep my voice as even as possible.

"I thought we could talk for a second," he said taking a place on the bench adjacent to mine. He gave me a smile and took his hands from his pockets, only to put them on his knees so he could lean over a few inches. It's not like him to be nervous, Jace Herondale doesn't get nervous.

 _It's like he's naturally perfect and doesn't even realize it._

"About?" I asked tucking my sketchbook away into my bag as nonchalantly as I could manage.

I just hate how he makes everything in my life feel so complicated. That sketch book getting out would make things really, really, complicated.

"I just want to ask you, without any pressure or people," he said pulling at his fingertips. He licked his lips and shut his eyes for a second before refocusing. "This is probably going to sound kind of dumb."

I wanted to say something. Anything. Anything to make him feel better. I wanted to reach out and touch him and tell him that it's ok and that he's not crazy. I just want it to be a normal teenage conversation and not be complicated for once.

"Well," he said putting his hands back on his knees and looking me in the eyes. I was so lost in his eyes, so focused on what I was seeing in his small moment of vulnerability, it made me feel like everything was still possible, that he was still my Jace.

Until he said: "I think you have something to do with Riza Fairchild."

And I was too entranced in our special moment to say any different so I said, "and what if I did?"

My entire body jerked to reality the second the words left my lips. Jace seemed content with my answer but I was seconds away from breaking down in a panic attack.

 _Stupid. Stupid! STUPID!_

"It's fine I won't tell anyone," he said putting a hand out as if it was supposed to calm me down.

"I've said way too much," I said in the same panicked voice my mind was using to scold myself. "Please forget it, Jace."

"Well, you see," he said scratching the back of his neck. "The problem is, I can't." This time he looked really uncomfortable, really unsure of himself. "I think I like her, and I was thinking... maybe... you could tell her I want to get a coffee or something sometime? I just want to make a better impression on her than I did before. And maybe she'll like the real me."

"That's ridiculous, she knows you're not a bad person, you don't have anything to prove to her." I said trying to hide the bitterness in my voice.

 _Is it possible to be jealous of yourself? Or your other alias? I don't know but he would never talk to me like that anyways. Again, BAD CLARY!_

"I was actually hoping," Jace started again, "Maybe she could like me enough for a real date."

"I'm not her messenger but I'll tell her. Next time, leave me out of it." I know I sounded bitter and the scowl on my face was evident but I just wanted to be alone right now.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 **I was on another unplanned hiatus, we just bought a house last month so I took some time to get settled. My two year old also got hurt and lost his finger nail so it was hard to sit down at the computer for a while.**

 **However, your comments and love got me up this morning to write another chapter. You all deserve it for waiting so long. The last chapter was a filler and was really short so I'll try and make this one worth it, lol.**

 **Characters belong to Cassie Clare.**

 **Clary POV**

Sitting outside on our favorite swings was all I wanted to do right now. It was Saturday and I didn't want to be cooped up all day after the long and emotional week I had. Maia and Simon were arguing about some comic book, I wasn't paying any attention. My fingers were trailing down the side of my sketchbook that held the lyrics of the first song I've ever worked on. There's only a few songs left that my fans haven't heard from my latest album, and this one will be the last one, the one that bears my heart and soul. Maia's phone went off alarming us that our 'favorite' radio ration was doing a piece with Riza Fairchild.

"She might as well be America's sweetheart," the reporter said with an array of laughter.

"We got word this morning that Riza Fairchild has just been named the most famous teenage girl in the county," the male voice said next. My heart skipped at the thought of accomplishing everything I ever dreamed of.

"Her voice, we have been told, is insured for 1 billion dollars, and if ever lost, the money is pledged to various charities," the female care again. "She deserves every ounce of love and support as she finishes her groundbreaking album dated for release in just a few weeks! And let me tell you, we can't wait much longer!"

"Her management team, gave us a comment about the final song, saying it's the last one because it's everything she's ever wanted to say, and it's special in every way. They would not give anything else away," the guy said.

"We've also gotten news about a boy," the girl took over. "So all you fans out there, get excited. This might be it for Riza, as it has been said she plans on going public with the news soon."

"Wouldn't it be so right for her to finish this album about a true love, and meet her own in the process?" The male voice asked.

"It would be legendary!" The woman said excitedly.

Maia turned her phone off and kept her eyes low. Simon scratched the back of his head and looked somewhere off in the distance. I tucked my legs to my chest and pulled them in tight.

My phone rang before anyone could say something.

"Hey, mom," I said slowly, trying to get rid of everything I'm feeling before we talk business. "I just heard it."

"Someone just reached out through Riza's direct line," my mom said hopefully. "A boy, said he met you at the last concert and wanted to talk. He said he went to St. Xavier's."

"We'll come home right away," I said looking at Maia and Simon.

"Well, honey," she said slowly herself. "We kind of invited him to dinner, Maia and Simon can't come and risk being noticed."

"I understand," I said trying to keep the disappointment from my voice. My friends didn't look thrilled but I knew they understood.

After exchanging 'I love you's' I hung up the phone and grunted as I threw myself back on the grass. I just wanted a little time alone. This album has been hard enough without Jace dangling himself in front of me like an actual option. It's even worse because he doesn't even want me, he wants Riza. I fought back every unstable thought and pulled myself up. The point of this album was to get through this, not make it worse.

"I guess we should get going," Maia said taking my hand to pull me up. God I love my friends.

I went in through the back door and climbed the stairs as quietly as I could, Maia on my heels. Simon went home, to not risk being noticed, but Maia wasn't as well known around this town as Simon was. She shut the door to my room and we got to work on Riza. She had my hair and makeup done in a timely manner and before I knew it, the blonde wig was on my head and my blue contacts were in. She sighed as she sat down on my bed.

My parents said the dinner was taking place at a local high end restaurant, they sent a driver for whoever it is we're meeting. My mind kept running back to Jace, no matter how much I told it not too, it always went to him.

Maia went home and my mom gave me a comforting smile. With a quick hug from Luke, we were out the door.

The restaurant was nice, and it was a great place to go where Riza could be secure enough to not be bothered by anyone during dinner. I took my seat and tried to hide behind the menus while my parents talked business. My brain was flooded with emotions and I hated this feeling. That feeling that I'm only good enough for people while I'm wearing this wig. Clary is just some small town girl, Riza is an icon, a leader, the person I've always wanted to be. I didn't always understand why Riza could know who she was and what she wanted, but I can't. Maybe I'll never know.

One thing was for sure, I don't know how I'm going to deal with another guy while I'm thinking about Jace.

"Riza," our security guy said with a speck of authority, not enough to overtake anyone else's authority but enough that everyone in the room knew he wasn't kidding. "This is Jace Herondale."

My heart stopped.

And the water I was drinking went up my nose because I chocked on it.

And then I had to cough because I just snorted water in front of everyone with one mention of his name.

Fuck

Fuck fuck fuck!

"She's usually a lot more poised," my mother said suppressing a laugh of her own at my expense. Luke made to effort to hide the amusement on his face. Jace, however, looked something of nervous and confident, because of course he can pull off those two emotions at the same time. "Jace, this is Riza Fairchild."

I'm pretty sure my mouth was hanging open and my face was a paper white. I felt like jumping from my seat and clapping and throwing up at the same time. I don't think I could ever forgive myself for letting Riza have him, and not the real Clary. It would crush me. But is it worth giving up the opportunity all together? Maybe I'll just be careful and make sure he doesn't get too close.

His shirt is buttoned to his collar bone and tight around his biceps to his waist. It certainly looked awesome with how in shape he was. His jeans were black and his boots were his usual ones he wore all the time. He looked like he had his shit together that's for sure. But it was always his hair and eyes that mesmerized me. Gold on gold.

That'll never work, you'll never just be friends, my head told me.

But my heart had other plans.

"Nice to see you again," I said picking up a napkin to dab my nose dry, and hopefully cover up my embarrassment and surprise for a moment.

"So you guys met at the last backstage meet?" My mom asked Jace to make conversation.

"Yes, ma'am," Jace said politely. He shifted in his seat and took a sip of water. He looked so graceful even doing that.

"And you go to school at St. Xavier's?" She asked again. We all knew she was just asking conversation but it felt right to ask him a bunch of questions because he doesn't know I know him already.

"That's right," he said folding his hands on the table. When his eyes looked at me I felt every barrier I built to get over him crumble. It felt like his eyes could see straight through every bit of makeup and see me. It made me feel like he knew exactly who I was and knew what I wanted.

"What about your parents?" Luke asked this time. I guess my mom can't have all the fun after all.

"Adoptive parents," he said politely again. "Robert is a lawyer and Maryse works for the news channel that y'all usually appear on." He took his eyes away from mine long enough for me to scold myself and try and get myself together. He looked at my parents this time and gave them his charming smile, the good one.

"We were wondering how you got ahold of the main phone line," my mom said with a laugh. "I guess Maryse could have had it though."

Luke leaned over then and said something to my mom that made them both laugh. She tried to cover her mouth but it didn't do much to cover it up. Jace gave me a knowing look and I felt myself shift uncomfortably in my chair under his gaze.

"Anyways," my mom said waiving at Luke to be serious for a moment. At least they are having fun, I just want to go home and pretend like Jace isn't sitting in front of me. "You said you had something you wanted to talk about?"

Her face went hard as she studied him. I could see the uncertainty behind her eyes, she's worried about me being discovered too. Luke looks exactly like her but less threatening.

I dared myself to look at Jace, and when I did, I'm pretty sure my hart stopped


End file.
